Will He Say Yes, Part 2

Hands trembling she swallows hard. He's sitting right across from her at a meeting their both at. No reply yet from her email. Did she possibly make him mad? "Focus on the meeting dumb ass. The minutes are more important than whether he's gonna say yes." My mind screams at me, trying to keep me in line. "You know you want him..." "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I'm screaming inside. Oh no, he's looking right at me. He's smiling at me. DAMN IT! Why must he be so good looking?

Now it's after the meeting, and everyone is visiting. I'm holding my breath, wanting desperately to talk to him. Apologize for the email I sent him. Trying to convince myself that it didn't mean anything, even though it did. Why, why, why won't this other guy I'm talking to leave me alone so I can go and talk to him? He's standing right behind me, talking with the guy I'm talking to, but OH NO! He's leaving the room. He's about to go home. "Excuse me...I need to catch him. Can we resume this in a moment?" I ask, praying that I'm not too late. Soon I find myself calling his name. "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" "Time to run away princess. He's coming right for you." "Don't run you dimwit. Just say what's on your mind."

"What's up." he asked, my mind screaming inside. DON'T DO IT!" Swallow hard and find your voice, avoid blushing, though that doesn't happen. "Hey, do you maybe want to go and get a cup of coffee sometime?" OH NO. I spilled the beans too fast. Quick, time to recover. But wait a minute. He's smiling. Why is he smiling?
"Why?" he asks, rather flattered. Now I have to explain. "I want to apologize."
"For what?" he questions. Now I feel like everyone left is looking at me. Take it slow...one step at a time. "I sent you an email a few weeks ago asking if you maybe wanted to go out for coffee sometime and after I sent it, I sent a few other emails regarding work and I never heard back from you. I thought maybe I had crossed the line was coming to apologize." He's still smiling. Maybe he's going to say yes!!!
"Don't worry. I won't cross the line. Maybe if you were to ever leave the group, then we could go for coffee. And don't worry. I'm not mad. I actually never got your email." "So then we're okay?" "Yeah, we're okay." Then we say goodbye and he walks away. My mind is screaming "See, I told you." while my heart is more understanding "It's okay. He didn't say no, just that he wants to wait until you're not a colleague anymore."
So now here I am, writing a reply to my first wish. Last night I was sad, but okay with that he said. I understand why he said it, and its nice to know he cares. Soon, very soon, I'll be asking him again. Until then though, we'll just remain friends and I'm okay with that. So until then my friend...I think I'd rather just be friends then lovers...